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Now you find yourself in front of a giant chasm with only a thin wire stretched taut over it as a bridge. There is a bin of parasols nearby. Gotta love the classics. You grab a parasol and carefully balance on the wire, while tinny circus music plays and that disembodied voice rambles in your mind again.

Candy’s parents came bearing chocolates and wild stories of their days in the circus. After Candy left the door-to-door salesman cult, they did too, heading to Milwaukee to start a normal life. Unfortunately, Mr. And Mrs. Carson had no clue how to lead a normal life. So, they pasted an extra pair of ears on their heads and joined a traveling circus as two of its freaks. The circus traveled all over the country, bringing joy to hundreds of people who weren’t put off by a circus that operated out of the back of five pickup trucks and a rusted U-Haul. They may not have had all the fancy equipment or talent of the major players, but they had an old trampoline and daredevils crazy enough to jump their motorcycles over anything the audience brought with them, as it was on the circus’ list of acceptable objects, which only had teddy bears and commemorative plates listed.

After nearly falling more times than you'd care to remember, you make it to the other side. A tall muscle bound man stands in front of you, arms crossed. "The word parasol translates to mean to shield from what?"