The official site of The Life and Times of Car Johnson
Eat All Your Veggies, Or Else!
One day, in the blinding snow, I saw a girl, who dressed like a ho. She smelled like a rose and looked quite the dish, but she claimed to be a genie and offered me a wish. I wished for a burger, I wished for some fries, but all I got were a stinking pack of lies. The burger was salmon and the fries were carrot sticks. I’d been had by a health genie’s tricks.
Her face became a grandma’s and her clothes grew ten sizes too big, while her hair curled up into a bluish-white wig. She smiled and stepped forward, holding a tray, while I stepped far… far far away. The tray was filled with broccoli both wilted and like new, all the bits of broccoli I ever refused to chew.
“Eat your veggies and you can go out and play,” I heard the woman say. “Growing boys need good food, to help with their day.”
I shook my head and closed my mouth, but it was all for naught. I had forgotten just how hard old ladies fought. She forced me to the ground and made me eat my fill, of veggies and salmon and a vitamin pill.
After I could eat no more, she made me eat again, until I begged for mercy for this health nightmare to end.
In the blink of an eye, she and her food were gone, leaving me a wreck, just another clean plate pawn. So, if you ever balk at your parent’s food commands, remember this children, health genies roam the land.